Saturday, March 13, 2010


There is something about the phrase "dance music" that makes me throw my defenses up quicker than a corporate CEO caught red-handed orchestrating a Ponzi scheme. See, despite knowing better, I still associate "dance music" with trashy clubs downtown with V.I.P. areas that amount to nothing more than a velveteen rope around a semi-circle booth where you pay for overpriced, watered-down drinks. It's not just the club, the patrons or the proprietors of clubs that make them trashy in my mind. It's the music. Loud, thumping quarter notes, unimaginatively arranged or remixed (barf.) and blasted threw subwoofers to the point that one would literally have to suffering from a terrible case of rigamortis not to hypnotically bob their head up and down.

There's nothing wrong with dancing, liking to dance or even going to a club to dance. The sin is that the music is Lady Gaga at best and some flavor-of-the-week rapster wanna be at worse. Actually, it could get really ugly if the DJ played "Who Let the Dogs Out", but we won't count your cousin's wedding reception here.

Why do I not associate dance music with New Order or even, more recently, MGMT? Both groups make perfectly acceptable songs to listen to, and most of them have beats funky enough to get even the most rigid of us to swing a hip or two.

Even if dancing is the activity and listening to the music is secondary, I would still think it imperative to the conscientious listener not to pollute themselves with noise that amounts to the music equivalent of empty calories.

Lady and maybe a Gentleman: I give you Norway's Casiokids. From what I understand, their forthcoming album will be the first Norwegian language record released in the US. That's right, you won't be able to understand what they are singing. However, from what I've heard, it won't matter one bit.

This is music that dares you not to throw a party.

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