At a certain point you tell yourself that the best course of action is to try to remove yourself from what is happening. Try not to dwell on it, don't let it ruin your life. The pain doesn't go away, but it's not always there holding you down. There's things you want to say, but "fuck you" seems counter productive.
At a certain point she goes to far. She might be experiencing pain similar to yours, but she's a fighter. She's not going to fight for love, but she's going to fight to make you feel worse, worse than she feels anyway. And why not? When she's feeling bad, all bets are off. And then things get nasty. She's not interested in being civil and she's not interested in not saying anything that she can't take back.
So now you sit there, every morning, at the edge of your bed thinking: what does it all mean? And, this time, what really troubles you, is what you're afraid that the answer might be.
It doesn't mean anything.
Heaven can't offer salvation now because you gave your heart to a girl. Enjoy damnation, kid. I hope it was worth it.